I suppose it is our nature as photographers to act a bit
neurotic when we are on a photo shoot.
Probably stems from trying to second guess the conditions wondering
through all the what-if-scenarios…what if I were at the other location…what if
I waited too long or left too soon…what if I used a different lens…what if I
should be on top of the ridge instead of at the bottom…what if I had come
the day before or waited until tomorrow…you get the idea.
A neurotic photographer always seems to be in a hurry and
distracted, but somehow it works to our advantage. My thoughts are always
working, my vision is always searching, and my creative instincts kick into
automatic mode. As a result more often than not, some obscure frame of
reference suddenly appears. It is less about finding an object to photograph. It is more about seeing
it hidden amongst the chaos. I suppose it takes a chaotic mind to produce
visions clear enough to find those hidden jewels.
I will often find myself skidding to a halt because
something appeared out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes color is the trigger,
other times it is a shape, and less often it is a combination or collection of
signals that trigger the shutter in my neurotic mind. Out of the blue, my
thoughts create an image out of the myriad of visual singles. What was obscure becomes defined.
What was chaotic becomes clear. There is no way to quantify the process or even
explain how it happens, it just does. What is most difficult is to find an ordinary photo
opportunity, one that looks ordinary to the unaided eye, yet being able to see
beyond the moment and create a visual image in your mind from the potential
of what is there. Only truly neurotic photographers have this ability…or so it
would seem.
The neurotic photographer does seem to focus more intently
on the world around him. Where others might simply pass by, he sees potential.
What others might consider mundane because they are only looking at the moment,
he looks beyond the moment and sees it as it can be. The neurotic photographers
mind will rapidly compute lighting angles, times of day, seasonal changes,
weather conditions, and how all of them will positively affect what might
actually be a mundane, ordinary view at the moment. Then he returns, multiple
times if necessary until the lighting angle, time of day, season and weather coincide with the vision he created in
his mind. Once there, an instinctual command of the mechanics of photography
replaces all of the neurosis, and the creative process kicks in.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I were no longer a
neurotic photographer. I suppose I would become a mechanical photographer who
takes pictures of things and relies on random chance as opposed to someone who visualizes, then captures all the glorious colors of light. The neurotic
photographers mind is a colorful thing of beauty. I hope I never lose mine.